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A close friend of mine recently passed away. Death is very sad thing, especially when it comes too early. It really stinks. I mean, no matter how much you know you're not supposed to, I just can't stop thinking "If I had only been there more, if I had only reached out (like I had PLANNED to and WANTED to), if I had only this or only that, well, then he'd still be around." I dunno though, perhaps that's a rather vain line of thinking - as if somehow *MY* mere presence would prompt someone to keep on living. Still, I think it's a natural reaction. Last year I had witnessed a similar situation with a friend of mine and a death of some close, albeit closer, to her. Not surprisingly, I have noticed a lot of the same reactions that she had in myself. If nothing else, it's really helped me to relate to her better, though under no pretense to I attempt to claim my loss as equal to even a fraction of her's. The visitation was different, I guess, than others I have been too. Whereas you often see broken down relatives who need comforting, in this case we had broken down visitors who received comfort from the relatives. They've always been a strong family, God bless 'em. His mother asked me to always remember him, and I assured her I would have no problems doing just that. In fact, he's constantly on my mind lately . I'll be doing something - anything, really - and some memory or another of him will pop into my head. We sure had good times. :) Ben, you shall be missed. Know, too, that I loved you always. Farewell my friend.

posted by _paul @ 9:50:00 AM